What’s saving your life right now?

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At the midpoint of winter, we’re sharing the things—big or small—that are saving us right now.

We have a longstanding February practice here at Modern Mrs Darcy. Winter isn’t an easy season for many of us, and so to beat back the gloom, we’ve habitually gathered at its midpoint to share the things—big or small—that are saving us right now.

Real talk: right now, I need to notice and welcome in the lifesavers. This is a season of hard personal anniversaries for me, and the state of the world feels crushing. Noticing the good, the lovely, the peaceful, the joyful—it helps us carry the hard and the heavy. This is our time to see and name those good and needed things. This practice hits differently every year, but every year, I see how much I need it.

Every year I feel challenged to mix things up; every year I realize how much has stayed the same. I’ve written about countless practical and not-so-practical things. Over and over again I’ve cited sunshine and walks and books and sleep as dreary season essentials. I’ve told you about about jigsaw puzzles and Friday coffee and taking the long view. I’ve written about Rick Steves and travel guidance and managing medical crises. To my great surprise, one year I even waxed poetic about laundry.

When I was quite sick in 2023, I wrote about the lifesaving goodness of sitting on the couch. Last year I wrote about flexibility; in 2024, days after my mom’s funeral, I reinterpreted the prompt and shared a lengthy list of the things helping me keep my head above water.

(One notable exception to the evergreen nature of it all: 2016’s post about the small sips that are saving my life. I still love this essay, but I haven’t sipped since the earliest days of 2020.)

This year, continuing the theme of highly specific yet couldn’t this be true in any and every year, I’d like to express my gratitude for and reliance on warm, inviting, cozy, homey spaces, and for my comfy and hospitable spaces, in particular.

The good stuff lies in the details, though, so let’s talk about those details.

***** ***** *****

This story begins, as many stories around here do, with a book.

In early 2023 I picked up Helen Ellis’s essay collection Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge: Intimate Confessions from a Happy Marriage for consideration in the Summer Reading Guide. I read it, I loved it, I included it. Here’s a screenshot of the blurb from the 2023 SRG:

The “coral lounge” of the title is Helen’s New York City living room, so called because its walls are painted “a delirious shade of coral that borders on Starburst candy orange.” I was captured by the detail that a passerby down on Lexington Avenue, viewing the apartment from the street, once left a post-it note with the doorman asking for the name of the paint color. Helen was happy to oblige, and you better believe I jotted it in my design files, but not before going on a Pinterest deep dive.

I love coral. Coral is my color, if you know what I mean; it has been going back to grade school. Happy, warm, and vibrant, I’ve always felt at home in it and around it. It’s not like the idea hadn’t previously crossed my mind, but after reading that book I was captivated by the idea of coral walls and started dreaming about which ones I might transform. Never mind that at this point, I’d been happily living in a house with all-white walls in our family spaces for seven years. (With one notable exception.)

***** ***** *****

The process details could fill a post of their own, but here’s the short version: it turns out Helen’s coral didn’t feel right for me and my space. But we (painstakingly) chose a color, then finally, with fear and trembling, painted an accent wall. We loved it immediately: the space instantly exuded warmth and a sense of home that wasn’t there before.

I started thinking: what else can I paint coral?

I didn’t paint anything else, not then—but some months later I realized that, without any conscious decision on my part, that coral wall had become its own organizing principle, a filter through which I’d begun to make decisions about all kinds of things in my home. It felt good.

A year later—quite recently, as we were heading into the darkest, coldest days of winter—we finally painted another wall, carrying the warm shade into the adjacent living room, and holy bookshelves, if I’d thought the first wash of coral made a difference in our home it was nothing like the second. The ninety or so minutes it took to paint that wall completely changed the feel of the room.

***** ***** *****

Okay, so I painted some walls. Just two! Not even a whole room’s worth. How is this saving my life?

I’m so glad you asked.

First off, year-round and even more so in these dark days of winter, I’m constantly grateful for any spaces that feel warm, inviting, and cozy. Where people feel snug and safe and like they belong. And if those spaces happens to be ones in which I spend a significant portion of my waking hours? So much the better.

Our coral walls put out a warm glow that say “welcome home” from the jump. Even before you walk in the door, actually, because you can glimpse one of these walls from the street! ((Though no one has yet left a post it asking about the color.)

I liked the spaces before, but now it’s as if the rooms themselves invite you to make yourself feel at home. I also love that the perhaps unconventional color choice makes the space feel like our home. As I wrote last month, “quirk and funk” really worked for me in 2025, and our chosen coral and the dominoing choices we’ve made and are making because of it might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but they really feel like us.

A space where I feel welcomed in, and where—I dearly hope—all who visit us do as well, where I feel happy (or at least happier) and safe (or at least safer)? It’s saving me.

More about those dominoing choices: the strong color now serves as a solid starting point for so many decisions I’m making at home. Not everything goes with coral, and that limitation is incredibly freeing. (I could talk about Don’t Overthink It principles for ten thousand words right here: all about decision fatigue, and deciding once, and letting the metaphorical sun shine in. Also, if you’ve been around here forever, perhaps you remember how one of the three final cover options had paint swatches on it? That sure feels relevant here!)

And last on my list, but not last in my mind: the coral spurred a fun little ongoing project. Not in the ugh this project will never end sense, but in the continuing enjoyment sense, more akin to the ongoing coffee adventures that worked and continue to work for me. (As my husband Will said, when I was talking about this idea with him, “what is a hobby if not a project that never ends?”)

Now this basic starting point has become an organizing principle that lets me scout for art, textiles, candles. (I don’t know about you, but I have more fun thrifting when I have a mission in mind.) It helps me decide which classroom art from my kid’s third grade year to frame. When I can’t decide which flowers to buy at Trader Joe’s, I think of the coral. I’m currently gathering objects for a little family art collection on a nearby wall, and this one already-made decision is helping me narrow down endless options to a manageable few.

And because it seems that color makes me happy, I’m dreaming of what I might paint next ….

***** ***** *****

The original prompt for this longstanding tradition comes from Barbara Brown Taylor’s lovely memoir Leaving Church. In it, Taylor tells the story of when she was invited to speak at a gathering, and her host assigned the topic: “Tell us what is saving your life right now.” I feel a little bit silly telling you about a bucket of paint when so much is hard and heavy. But when things are hard and heavy, it’s important (says Taylor) to pay attention to what’s giving us life: to notice it, to name it.

There’s a reason we do this as a community: I know I’m not the only one who would very much like to hear what’s saving your life right now—or, if that question feels like a bridge too far, what’s helping you keep your head above water. Would you tell us?

What’s saving your life right now? Tell us below, or link to your own blog or Instagram post below in the comments section.

38 comments

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Sandy says:

– Book club
– Hoopla audiobooks
– Singing in a church choir
– Weekly mahjong
- Linda Watskin says:
  
  —having a pile of books
  —writing poetry
Tamara Smith says:

What’s saving my life right now? A medical leave from work and therapy. My plate became overfull in the fall, and I needed something to give. My doctor said, “That’s easy. We take work off your plate…for now.” And that literally saved my life.
- love this!
Kalli Moon says:

-long chats with a good friend
-play dates at the park
-walks by the desert with my dog
-Saturday and Sunday hikes
-going to bed early
-yoga and a soundbath once a week
Rebecca says:

As ever, writing and performing things… but I’d fallen into thinking of them as scary ambitious goals and overwhelming obligations . Thanks for the reframe.
Emily says:

– Meal prep
– Dubai chocolate
– Slow reading the Wolf Hall trilogy
– Watching Detroit and U-M hockey and basketball teams right now
– Abiding Together podcast
Small knitting projects are getting me through right now. A scarf for my husband, leg warmers for my daughter, baby sweaters for friends … little bits of warmth and tangible expressions of love against the cold and darkness.

I’m also leaning into long, older books this winter. I did a re-read of Elizabeth Gaskell’s Wives & Daughters in January, and I just ordered a nice print edition of Anthony Trollope’s Barchester Towers for February. I always have a lighter fiction story going on the e-reader app on my phone as an alternative to doom-scrolling, but I’m really loving the solidity of these longer books and their love affair with the English language during these winter months. And there is something about reading a printed book that just can’t be matched by an e-reader, though I’m certainly happy to have both options depending on what I need/want at the moment.
Sheila says:

– mindfulness
– spiced coffee
– wintering in TX
Anne Parker says:

Exploring journaling through Suleika Jaouad’s The Book of Alchemy
Yoga
Art – Catherine Rains Collage workshops online and live model drawing
Vacation planning
Dee says:

Sometimes, at night, I hear an owl. It takes me away from my worries and brings a sense of peace.
- love this!
Laura says:

I live in Minneapolis and this question is literal. The answer is our neighbors and community. We are actively working to save each others’ lives right now. We are in contact every single day, checking on each other, making sure we have what we all need, and trying to keep everyone safe. It is hard to get my head around other things at this moment.
- Laura G says:
  
  My heart is with you and your community.
- Stefanni says:
  
  You all are doing life-saving work. Thank you!
- love this!
- Angela says:
  
  Ours hearts are with you from up in Canada too. It’s been a hard but beautiful thing to watch your community (need to) look out for and after each other. 💕
Kate Fensterstock says:

Your chosen coral is beautiful. I can see why it brings you joy.

My home office is painted ‘Sunlit Coral’ (Benjamin Moore) – it’s really more of a peachy blush pink and I absolutely love it, especially at this time of year. It is also one of my favorite colors to wear, especially on gray days.

The other things saving my life right now:
– the full moon on a clear winter night
– hot tea and book in my reading chair, with sun shining on the “snowcrete” or in the evening with twinkle lights
– good pens and notebooks
– the newly discovered indoor walking track at our local rec center (plus it’s free!)
Melissa Glorioso says:

Great post! But everyone is going to want to know which exact color of coral you chose! Will you share?
Rebecca says:

My husband had an old gift card for Land’s End that he was never going to use, so he gave it to me. I bought several of the Anyweather Fleece Quarter Zip Pullovers in different colors that I like. Then I got matching pima cotton turtlenecks from LL Bean (using points I had saved up). These matching layers are so pretty and so cozy – they are my “uniform” for every winter day and I absolutely love them. I actually cleared my closet of all the ratty, pilled sweaters and sweatshirts that I didn’t love anymore and it feels great.
- love this!
RKK says:

I love the change in format – a long essay (which I have always loved from you), that you moved the traditional intro/context to the end and plunged us right into the story. And now I realize that coral is my favourite colour too!

And – because we are all dying to know – what shade of coral did you pick?? And what shade was in the book?? And can you show us a whole wall?? (sorry for being greedy – I just love this so much!)
Laura G says:

Please consider this my post-it note: what’s the color name??? I love your coral choice.

I’m having a hard time right now with anxiety about the country and the world. The extra-cold winter this year is not helping. Things keeping me sane are my dogs making me laugh, my reading, my knitting, and watching things on TV or streaming that make me laugh and/or feel good.
This is beautiful, Anne, thanks for sharing. This tradition has become such a special one to me and I love that you’ve kept it going all these years. My list this year is simple, specific, and genuinely keeping me afloat right now.

https://kendranicole.net/whats-saving-my-life-this-winter/
Lisa says:

Your beautiful post saved my mood this morning, thank you. Your coral walls are gorgeous and got me thinking about a piece of my mother’s furniture that was gifted to me, sorely in need of transformation. Maybe coral or pink is the way to go.
Jackie L says:

I used to enjoy winter but my current home has a steep driveway and we’ve already had 3 winter storms with actual accumulation (for Virginia that’s unusual, I know that’s nothing for so many folks) so I am completely over it and ready for spring! But for now, these things are keeping me sane:

– Books (this is noteworthy right now because I’ve been slumping off and on for longer than I’d care to admit)
– A cozy set-up in my bedroom with LED candles and fluffy pillows
– Creative hobbies like bullet journaling (including a reading journal), crocheting, and making things with my Cricut
– Phone calls with the people I love
Wow! I love that color! I remember reading that book and wishing I had a coral room in my house! Coral is one of my favorite colors to wear!

I shared 10 big and little things saving my life right now.
The Pitt
Thymes Olive Leaf Hand Lotion
Sending Cards/Postcards
Our basement remodel into a game room
Candied Jalapeños
Tote Bag
Spindrift
Neck/Shoulder Relaxer
Puzzles
Upcoming Trip to Florida
https://www.sincerelystacie.com/2026/02/whats-saving-my-life-february-2026-edition/
Michele A Naquin says:

My faith/prayer
Focused time with my husband
Doing something to help others
Quality time with my family
Working on a puzzle
Crocheting blankets for my grands
Cuddling with my dog
PJ HALL says:

Friday morning walks with my daughter-in-law. She unloads what’s going on in her life, we connect, get some brisk exercise, and I appreciate all over again how lucky I am to have her in my family.
Early mornings in my building’s basement hot tub. I do my pt exercises on the steps leading in and then sink into the bubbly hot water and feel happy in the moment.
Tracking my wardrobe choices. I keep a list in my bullet journal of wardrobe hits and misses. When I need inspiration (I’m trying to use more of my clothes), I look back at prior hits.
Taking a watercolor class with my sister. I’m embracing failure, making me more willing to take risks. It may not look pretty, but I’m trying.
- love this!
Melinda Malaspino says:

In the spirit of taking care of myself spiritually, physically and mentally:
Early morning meditation
Strength training guided by my trainer at the gym, as well as regular massages
Challenging myself to write daily
Jessica says:

My Tuesday social knitting group. I’ve made it a priority to attend (I always seem to have appointments or some errand to do on Tuesday) and have decided that I will no longer schedule anything on a Tuesday. It’s a small group, but it’s so good to connect with people and I’ve realized it’s crucial for my well-being.
Also…MMD Book Club. That one goes without saying! Best little corner of the internet.
And as always, the daily walks with my dogs….especially when we can dip into the forest for a bit.
Deirdre says:

I always enjoy these. You didn’t mention this but I am wondering whether the very visible reminder that you can step outside your comfort zone and that can be a good thing is one of the reasons your coral walls are saving your life?

The world is heavy right now. What is helping me get through it this winter?
* my snowshoes, which are allowing me to continue taking walks in my snow-covered landscape
* Soups on my stove almost every day, which are helping to keep my home warm and humidified in addition to being nourishing and delicious
* Smokey (lapsang-souchang based) and toasty (such as hojicha) teas, which seem to be hitting all my cravings just right
* Wool socks and long underwear are a constant marvel
* My home yoga and mat pilates practices (using my beloved Down Dog app)
Marybeth says:

My books
Scrapbooking our story and life moments
Making pretty cards
Spending time away from news and political drama
Catherine says:

We got a Peloton in November, and it’s really been saving my life these past few months. I used to be a runner, but stopped making time for it years ago, so I went from almost never working out to getting in several good workouts a week. I’m sleeping better. My energy is better. I’ve always been intimidated by gyms and classes, and the main intention for the purchase was for cardio, but the easy and private access to short stretching and strength workouts has really expanded my horizons too. It was a splurge for us, but worth every cent to me.

Other things that are really helping my life right now:
– A slow read poetry project: My husband and son heard about a book of poetry, EUNOIA by Christian Bök, on a YouTube video and got it for me for my birthday. I’m reading just 2-5 short poems a day, and really loving it. It’s nothing like the kind of poetry I’m normally into; Bök restricts himself to a single vowel for each section, and it’s very challenging to me, because his restrictions mean he uses a lot of vocabulary I’m not familiar with. I have to read most poems twice, and the second time I usually look up a few words. But I can feel it helping to (re)build my focus and concentration.
– Middle grade read-alouds: My 9yo and I have been doing read-alouds every other night for the last couple of years, and I cherish the time the time with him. It’s become a really special bonding activity for us, and I love seeing him develop into a reader with his own taste.
– Consignment shopping: I think I could count on my fingers the number of band-new pieces of clothing I’ve purchased in the last few years, but I’ve bought a lot of new-to-me treasures from a really well curated consignment shop in Old Town Alexandria, near where I live. It’s such a thrill to find something that’s well made, fits perfectly, and feels like a real treat, without feeling guilty about the price.
Melanie says:

I actually had an experience almost opposite to painting walls coral. Last spring, after replacing the flooring on the main level of my home, I thought it would be a good idea to introduce more color to my furnishings. I bought a beautiful rug, rolled it out…and had to admit to myself that I missed the peace and calm that my previous neutral rug had brought to the space. I returned the colorful rug and found a larger neutral one with a bit of texture (so that it’s not boring). It was definitely the right decision.

What I had hoped would be a January of leaning into the coziness of winter has instead turned out to be a string of interruptions – from emergency furnace repairs, to a cosmetic home project that’s taking longer than expected, to a family member who will likely become a temporary roommate. I really, really miss feeling like my home is a refuge of peace and calm. What’s been saving my life, surprisingly, has been the routine of my job, as well as my sweet cats and a more-than-healthy dose of Netflix!

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